Another Day In the Race Of The Rats

... and by this I mean the race that I do everyday. It starts everyday at the ring of the alarm of my borrowed Samsung mobile (which I had hoped won't work and I will have an excuse for not waking up, so damn you Samsung), followed by a couple of unmentionable morning activities. After that comes the biggest challenge for the day, which is deciding what to wear. I am a walking talking fashion disaster and if you want to know what is 'out', you just have to take a look at my clothes and you will know what to avoid.

But thankfully, I now have a fashion consultant (a kind senior), who somewhat makes sure that I don't commit any major fashion blunders. After this part, the actual running part starts, with a mad rush to catch the office bus. As a kid, I learned in books that 'pet ke liye bahut bhaagna pardta hain'. Now I know it to be true, literally!

Reaching office somehow saps all the living energy out of me. I think they have managed to invent a machine which converts human energy into pure $$ and Lehman must have installed such machines at every floor. I see suspicious things in the office (for security reasons they are there I am told), which I am sure are those energy sucking machines.

To convert more human energy into money, the office even feeds us. After all, like all good machines require quality fuel, this machine too requires good stuff and so like fattened pigs (or rather rats) we are fed an assortment of food which is supposed to increase our energy levels (more energy in humans, more energy the machine can suck and convert into money)

It doesn't end at that. To make sure that the conversion process is even more efficient, they have catalysts in the form of agents called "Instructors". They are usually highly paid engineers who maintain those machines and to make sure that their machines get their regular feed of rats, they keep us in a cage called "Conference Rooms" on seats (which are connection ports to the machine) and to make sure that we don't start thinking (which will consume energy), these agents will keep bombarding us with meaningless chatter which they call "training". If you have a flair for nonsensical nonstop chatter, kindly get in touch with the HR of our company for openings for Agents.

Finally once we are completely drained for the day and can take it no more, they herald us into buses and cabs and send us back to our rat holes to make us recuperate for another day of suction and conversion into $$

So that my dear friends, in my "conspiracy theory" of all investment banks. After all just think, have you seen any investment banker with a life?

Will be back with more insider stuff..

signing off..

--- Offender----

Mum Bhai

College is over and in other words, life as we know it (LAWKI) has ended. No more aimless meanderings in school. It has been replaced by mindless meanderings in the corridors of Lehman Brothers. I have been placed in a division called "Exotic Derivatives", which trust me is not exotic by any means. Of course if you look at the profile of the people who make up the group, it is indeed exotic, and I don't mean this in a good way :)

Will keep updating my experiences with this disjoint family here. So thanks for dropping by and keep checking